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Getting discouraged dating

Are you in a rural area? I wonder if there is something in your profile that is weeding them out. Unfortunatley online dating allows people to be exceptionally picky and to overlook people for really insignificant things or criteria.

Just wanted to give you some words of hope! I also recommend what the PPs said and maybe try another dating site.

Did you find online dating discouraging? Any tips?

The right man will come along, I promise! Girl I had a rough time online dating! Match was probably the site where I got the least dates — that and eHarmony. Bumble worked out for me, that is where I found my man. I went on 60 dates. I met my husband right away on Plenty of Fish.

Feeling Discouraged about Online Dating

Everyone I actually met was nice and normal. The right guy for you is out there, he just might not be on Match.

One last piece of advice, if I can make an app recommendation in particular, Coffee Meets Bagel was a godsend for me. It seems to attract a more respectable crowd and gentlemen who were very explicit about wanting a long term relationship and not just a hook up. However, you get less choices daily, the app shows you one match a day and you have the option of buying more if you choose. I did a lot of research on the science of online dating and it really is true that the problem today is too many choices.


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The book, Marry Him: Good Enough, by Lori Gottlieb. It was a game changer for me and really helped get me in the right mindset when looking to pick a partner. If you actually read this far, YAS, thanks for humoring me. No dates in 6 months? Ask someone who is honest with you about what kind of pictures you have up? I had terrible luck with Match. I heard that guys have to pay on match and if they dont have a paid membership, they cant see your pics.

I would suggest trying another site. I just made it a rule to chat with someone a bit before agreeing to meet. I had a blast meeting different people. I was only on eHarmony and Tinder. I met my husband on eHarmony and a friend tried it after we made it official. That friend ended up getting engaged a month after us!!!! Online dating is hard work, a lot of sorting out, time consuming and most of the time extremely disappointing. Another negative aspect turn into positive is that it gives me lots of comedy material lol …. To successfully online date you have to have an extremely high self-esteem, lots of time and money, a very tough skin, an open mind as well as going with the mentality of making friends and see where that leads.

Low expectations and high standards. That sums things up pretty well. The key is to carefully screen before you go on dates, manage your expectations easier said than done, i agree and treat each date as if it was the last.

Dedicated to your stories and ideas.

If a guy calls back, fine. It happened to me a few months ago. For about four, five months I never went longer than two weeks without a date or a new invite. At one point I was seeing three men at once. Some were odd, a few were gross, most were decent, good people. I felt a definite spark not just potential with two or three.

When that happened I took some advice here and checked out the game for two months. I got to relax, figure out what I did wrong, how to improve. That helped my outlook a lot. Bad dates make good stories. I also came out more convinced of what I deserve, and my ability to be faithful to what I deserve. I would rather make myself as happy I can be alone than be in a relationship where I have to adjust to be sort of happy. Is it a relationship? Maybe just getting what you want out of it?

Three of them I dated for over a month. Other than two guys, I was happy all of them came into my life. I get fewer messages, but the men who message me now are quality across the board.

5 Ways to Deal with Dating Burnout

All of that said, online dating has really dulled my excitement for men. Many want to be single by choice — reason like successful career. I fully understand why men want a successful career. It is indeed very rewarding when they are at their prime. I think we should just be realistic that it could take many years to find the one who wants to love and commit. If we accept the reality, we all be lot happier and less frustrated. Either we may have to move, date older man who is ready for family and commitment or younger man who finds you irresistible; It can all happen.

Or you can spent all your waking hours to find and marry to someone who may leave you in no time. Frustration and discouragement never bring out the best of you. Guys can tell who is truly a happy person… When he finds you, maybe all we have to do is to stay happy. Some good mostly not tho. You learn to talk to them on the phone before an actual date because you can tell a lot when you talk rather than text or email.

But I learned to be very picky and insist on getting to know them a little before a date. I had one guy tell me my country accent was too much for him lol too funny. Agreed, though getting to a relationship looked easy to me during burnout. But I think it just takes practice in putting yourself in this mindset and approaching it from a truly positive not daunting and happy place.

You really have to keep telling yourself this whenever you hit a road block or just sheer confusion. Dating is unpredictable and hard to control. Be blunt, straightforward and ask for what you want. Takes time and practice. Change the midnset and attitude and you may feel better about it: Oh I just wanted to ask that exact question! Really frustrated after activating the accounts for almost 3 days.


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  • I now use online for anthropological purposes LOL , to study men and hone my dating skills — both screening them and how to be a good date myself. If I get something out of it, woohoo. Most men there are not available or healthy enough for a relationship. If it does, happy luck of the draw. But as girls have said, you do have to develop a thick skin.

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