Or am I overreacting? But hearing him say that to her, I felt so disrespected. Your boyfriend is torn being pleasing the mother of his children he probably has little choice and his love for you. Men are mold-able, so you should talk to him in a way that builds him up. This is an old article but I wanted to hedge my bets on receiving a response.
What do I do if my boyfriend keeps in contact with a good friend of several years but they would sleep together and do very dirty things quite often sending nude photos, messaging about sex, etc. She only reaches out to him when she feels lonely. They are Facebook friends and that is the only reason she knows of our relationship as he never brings us up in conversation. Their relationship is purely text messaging maybe every other week or once a month but when she sends him message he is extremely quick to reply unlike his other friends who are girls who might not reply to for a few days or weeks.
My Ex and I broke up 2 years ago he broke up with me and have remained good friends for the past year. It took about a year to get through the breakup. We have recently been hanging out a bit more than usual…. Last week he took me to lunch for my birthday and to catch up. I asked what was happening in his life over the past month and all he mentioned was that he was working a lot. Let me get back to you after the dust has settled.
Now that I think about it, had plenty of opportunities to tell me he was dating someone. Anyway, I would love to get back with him and have been playing it cool this past year as he dated other women. Is there anything different I can do? I wanted to add that he is one of my best friends.
When we were together we were best friends and lovers. The reason for the break up was he wanted passion and a best friend. First, I do believe you brought up an interesting point about getting insecurities handled on your own. However, culturally exes may or may not be tolerated. My boyfriend and I love each other very much, and we come from different cultural backgrounds. He has an ex who is his friend, and I know she cares about him, yet she ended their short relationship. He feels obligated to support her.
I love him, and I respect him. I want him to have friends, lol. He treats his friends differently than he treats her. Is that still my problem? Yes, this is similar to my situation. This article is a piece of crap. You dealt with your feelings of insecurity by breaking up with the girl. Thanks for contributing nothing to the internet. I hope you find another article on the internet that meets your standards. I just wanted to say that I really appreciate this article and all of your articles , and speaking from experience, Eric is absolutely right. Reacting from a place of insecurity and mistrust only pushes the other person farther away.
MP, put the shoe on the other foot: People want to be with people who make them feel good. Alternatively, confidence is sexy. I know from my own experience that the more you worry about things that you have no control over, the more you begin to act in ways that actually push him away.
Be the kind of person YOU would want to be with. This is right on! The test of you are dreaming. It is s constant distraction and a huge red flag of disregard for your heart. I agree with you on this being an article that contributes to people doing the wrong thing just because they feel its not their issue. Hii there, I have similar problem in my relationship. He never wants his friends or familiy members knowing about our relationship, even he hides me from his ex-gf.
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Yesterday, he told me that he will go to another country in USA to help her ex moving things. She will drive and she needs someone to accompany her since she will drive at night and he said that the road where they will pass by is dangerous Florida Highway. This hurts me coz he will be together with her for days and he did not tell me before getting the ticket. I feel like he disrespects me as his gf.
Now, I decide to break-up. I need ur opinions guys, thanks so much. Thanks for that article. Their is no such thing as friendship after breakup. Sometimes men date other women to make ex jealous and win her back or vise versa. I knew lot of female friends who had boyfriends yet got jealous when their ex dated another girl.. Would anyone feel differently if the ex was a friend with benefits.. Like sells their self for money.. Do you endorse the boyfriend to keep in touch with this ex too? Where do we draw the lines here? That is a very good question. In the end that is up to decide to every couple.
Communication is the key here. There is not ONE right way to have a relationship. It depends on your own values. I also really dislike when my partner communicates with an ex. It is disrespectful of the new relationship. I usually turn away quickly from anyone with sic baggage. Of course there is always an exception to the rule but in general notch good will come from a relationship with an ex when you are wholeheartedly trying to make a new relationship succeed.
A new partner should not be forced to deal with your baggage … Take it out to the curb where it belongs. I unwittingly came in-between two people who were almost about to get back together.
They have 5 years of history, on-off. I left him when I he told me about his ex on the horizon. I knew he immediately regretted it and over the course of 2 and a half months won me over again because he showed me he really liked me. The guy said he broke up with her, but they remain good friends.
Whenever people bring her up, he will avoid talking about her. Yesterday night, he went out with his ex, who obviously likes him a lot. Can a guy actually take such a long break from seeing a girl he says makes him go crazy? What do you think of my situation? Something tells me that he is in love with her, shes got 2 kids.
Now because the husband isnt around she makes my boyfriend run errands for her, sometimes she would complain of not having the strenght to cook, then my bf would order me to take food to her, i got mad and we fought over it bt he never apologized, what do i do? He displeases me to please her. It seems the boyfriend is training his ex that her behaviors are acceptable to him.
Not allowing her to behave like that. Also he should know that if it makes his girlfriend feel upset, it just poisons the relationship. If your boyfriend is still talking to his recent ex on a regular basis, especially if he was close enough to her to loan her money, then your gut instincts could very well be correct. Our gut instincts are there to protect us. Then you become the girl who put up with it.
5 Important Things to Do When Your Boyfriend Contacts His Ex | PairedLife
He will do what he wants to do regardless, if I were you, i would leave that relationship before too much more time is invested. You need someone with a cleaner slate. I was seeking self healing on the internet about how to deal with my new love and his insecure and manipulative ex-girlfriend who still contacts him and I happened to stumble upon this article. There is so much wisdom and truth here and validated what I was already feeling and thinking. After reading several other articles online and most of the responses by jealous and controlling women this opened my eyes and gave me validation to what I already knew.
You are so right, my relationship is a good one at that and the last thing I want to do is become the girl he was with last. My boyfriend is with me and loves me, not her. I will definitely be passing this on to those in need, I just wanted to say thank you so much for writing this. I agree with Marguerite.
I am in the same boat, had the same feelings, and greatly appreciate some wisdom that I knew was there.. It just sometimes takes another outside source to help you see things a little more clearly. Now what if said ex was an ex-fiance that still texts all the time and calls him pet names like babe. Also texts get deleted regularly… red flag then? I second Marguerite as well, over two years on. I agree with this too. I had already deduced that my only problem with their friendship was my own insecurities, but this confirms it.
But, I really am struggling and hurting over a recent text that I saw for my boyfriend to his ex of 8years. He said that he feels closer to her than anyone. He also said recently that he wants to see her more, start fresh. Thank you for this, I needed it today! It just makes you so jaded and hard to look at anyone the same way after that. As of today I am going to try my hardest to let it go and then in the end of something happens its his loss. Life is way too Short to play games and live it blindsided choosing to know what you want to know instead of reality. If you know his password to his emails or if he leaves it open, lets you see his phone history calls or text just to prove to you he cut off communication wonderful, keeper for a lifetime!..
I was able to find someone who was open, honest, and trustworthy! We are definitely on the same page. The earlier you cut your loses the better chance you find the one who will respect and honor your love, trust, devotion and commitment and means what he says not what you want to hear and repeat offend you!
How wonderful that you can find cheater high speed with just a click so cheating online is just as easy as finding cheaters cheatin! At the end of the day, you make the final choice but at least you can decide using other options and what to do with it.. Trust is important in a relationship, but blind trust is foolish! Change has to come within not forced..
Life has no guarantees! Good Luck with your choices and decision you make just right for you! Can somebody just settle my mind I live with a male friend who I beleieved wanted to be with me but has just upped rooted his whole life to move away frm his as he keeps telling me girl friend of 10 years.
Im in a similar position right now. Been going out with this guy for a couple of months right now. He broke up with his gf 4mos. But, recently I learned that he is still texting with his ex, I think one time he helped her out proof read her research. His ex in an email also I love you. I want this relationship to progress.
1. Address the Situation Openly
What should I do? Or How do should I react? I bust him red-handed. She tells him she made a mistake, wants him back, will leave her husband for him. And now they contact each other constantly via phone and email. He believes in being in-love with one person but playing with others. He also has a girl in another state that was just a FWB for two years before I was in the picture.
Ask A Guy: When He’s Still In Touch With His Ex
They sext, and play on Xbox live. But, she is just a game to him. How do you ignore all that. How do you say yes, I believe you just love me, but want to be with your ex on that level. The killer thing, I am bi, and am open to a swinging life style together, he is ok with that as well, but still wants his ex and this girl. What is it with guys that want their past girls still in their lives and say how much they love the girl they are with. How I am his girl, the one he wants to be with every day, to spend his money on.
He wants us to live together. That he is control of this, and they have no power over him. Come on guys please answer this for me. I just found a message that my boyfriend of 4 years sent to his ex-wife.
I forgave him last year. I love him but I consider this cheating. I noticed that she had no response to this. I feel truly betrayed. They have a 10 year old daughter. I demanded that he cut all ties with her with the exception of daughter info. Hey here is this guy who just asked me out on 14th saying it as a friends date even said to think about a place where we two of us can go. Brilliant read for anyone having relationship troubles to do with past relationships: I loved what you said. I think you just help saved my relationship.
Thank You very much! It is definitely worth a try! But there is only so much ignoring you can do. She never did get the picture. And he never told her. There is only so much waiting for him to set the boundaries you can do. Girls can manipulate guys and their relationships to intrude enough to cause problems but not do enough for the guy to actually react and set the boundaries. Its shit for us girlfriends. I hope one day I do meet a guy who is grown up enough and sure enough in himself to do that if ever I end up in that situation again.
I hope we all meet someone who is grown up enough to set the boundaries: Young ladies with healthy self esteem would leave. He must be quite rich for you to subjugate common sense. You are making excuses for him. I am betting he will bang you and sweet talk you and all will be well but underneath, the unease for the rest of your relationship. Really dear Bubbles I will truly leave you now. Goodbye and best of luck. How would I go about asking him then? He was staying in Denmark, and went twice to Norway for several days.
As the times we do share are fun and memorable times. I also sent you this as an email earlier today, so bit of a double up there. I think what this really comes down to what you really want. If you were immediately suspicious, it sounds like your instincts picked up on it. You were with him for a year?? Now is the time to be serious monogamous and committed. If believe him and stay you only have yourself to hold accountable for the anguish and heartache sure to follow.
Much older men love young girls such as you because they can lie and manipulate them. Your story is textbook. Thin they are the exception and not the rule. Honey you are going to learn the hard way. Just bookmark this page for reference and check it in six months. I do not have a desire to change him, he said accept him for who he is. Only found out by snooping on Facebook.
You know Bubbles, I hate to tell you that the girls leaving you comments are right but… it does seem likely. He is playing you he traveled with a female for a month and did not tell you? You are too young to get mixed up in such drama. Thank you for this reply. I have been seeing this person for a year, he has many female friends and some of them are his exs. I know he contacts his female friends on a regular basis, and he says that some are very close friends. But I feel I am left out in the dark wondering what he talks about to them.
But it is hard to let such fear go, and unable to control his emotions and make him feel for me like I feel for him. Sure, I agree with that. Some men want a harem for any variety of women. Most men and women actually want to find a great partner and have a great relationship. I just want to say that if an ex is really over that person they will move on especially if it was a bad relationship and trust has to be the number one issue.
I live with my bf and actually his ex of 8 yrs is living at his parents home too. I found this website randomly but wanted to share some thoughts after reading. Obviously, I have been having a situation that is very similar to this womans worries about her currents relationship. I am 22 years old and have spent the last seven months with a man whom I now consider to be my partner. He is 30, so a bit older. Most outlookers would say we are joined at the hip.
He is a welcoming, peace-making sort of person, not one who can easily speak rudely or bluntly to people. One of these people is his ex girlfriend. I have gotten the impression she is exceptionally needy and emotionally unstable in the sense that she takes her problems and hangs them out on the lawn laundry line for every one to see and observe. Since it has entered my mind that I am very much committed to this man, the facts started showering down on my head: This did not bother me at first until i started realizing how regularly she is communicating with my boyfriend on such an intimate and regular basis….
I feel she should be taking these issues to her own boyfriend. I also am very troubled every time I see him on the phone and computer, and i resent myself for feeling suspicious at all, but I always wonder if it is she that he is speaking to. I do not feel comfortable with this as much as I would like to ignore it entirely, like I used to. I do not believe she cares one hoot about the fact that he is special to me and i find it very rude and inconsiderate for her to be regularly contacting my boyfriend as if it is still her relationship to be intimate with.
Is it over analyzing to believe such things? I also have small spouts of resentment for my boyfriend for being so receptive to this constant contact, as thought it is also something he is still emotionally attached to… always giving her the shoulder to cry on, regardless of the time or frequency of her calls and the sverity of her insecurity. Not to mention she lives miles away. I just wanted to thank all of you for your honesty about this. You definately make sense about just avoiding the ex-girlfriend relationship subject.
She moved away a few months before I met him, now she is back and he mentions her as just a friend. It does eat at me from time to time but we do have a great relationship since June It was instant attraction between us and he is a true gentleman. We both were previously married for 20 years and we have been divorced for 8 years. While I think what you guys said in comments is great, I think what you are saying applies when two people break up, healing happens, and later they chose to be friends because they valued each other as a person.
In this case, I think what was missed is the part where the ex is acting inapropriately. If they were truly platonic friends, she would not be texting him that he is neglecting friends but really her. She would let him go about his life and be happy to see him when the situation arose. Sending manipulative messages possibly intended to guilt someone is not being a friend. Yes, it is up to us females not to wig out when a boyfriend has had other relationships before and runs into his ex or keeps in touch, but it is also up to the guy to set clear boundaries with his exes as well.
But even with that being the case, the bigger picture is that this guy used to date this woman and when they were together, he probably cared for her very much. She probably cared for him very much too. In a perfect world, everything would be clean-cut and logical and we would have complete control of our emotions at all times. I have always found it a weird idea that someone could be a person that you absolutely adore and then, after a breakup, have absolutely no relation to them whatsoever.
My opinion is that the best solution, is to have faith in the guy and his ability to work it out and take appropriate action. I really appreciate you taking the time to write this out for the ANewMode. Men and women think about these things and experience these things and comments like this help show us this.
This article has caught my eye because in most relationships we have experienced this issue at least once in its term. I will start off by saying that I have been in this situation conincidentally and I can relate. You are a couple. I have remained friends with two of them. The first one is a subject that is sore to me and I had a few regrets with how it was left.
It taught me a valuable lesson and that is to always try to remain civil with those you once cherished. They were once your world and you have shared some of your most fond memories with this person. They somehow shaped you to what you are today. So when I am sharing myself with them in both the emotional and physical sense it is very hard to just drop them out of my life for good. It makes me go against my beliefs and integrity. I just always found that strange. However, if they have crossed me in such a malicious manner that the value of trust was in question then I would have to remain away from them for a time being until I felt I could accept their character.
This goes for any relationship I encounter as well. I have no time for mistrust. I could be just cleaning my room or walking the dog and I would have 15 calls when I returned. I would call back and get the usual drill and attitude.. At first I believed that it was a sign of caring but I slowly began to realize it was just a big sign of insecurity. However, I loved so I was blind. Many breakups occurred in this relationship. The constant arguing and making up occured and eventually it began to take its toll on both our mental and physical health. A lot of hurtful things were said that I unfortunately can not apologize for now.
I left this relationship on a bad note and it took years before I would even consider getting into another one. I would like to say that this relationship was started immediately as well. No foundation was built. Now when I enter a relationship I make it a point that we know each other very well. It creates harmony and peace if you know each other very well.
You can see how their daily lives are structured and who their character is. If they are trust-worthy to others than what makes you think they are not going to be trust-worthy with you. This creates a bond that diminishes the idea of having to check on their every move. Sometimes doing so especially before you have even commited to each other realistically causes unecessary issues and anxiety.
You are now harboring assumptions without validation. Yes you may have been pyscho and ran their credit and background as a pre-requisite BUT you may have it way off!! As much as you want to believe otherwise and others want to feed into you it is just way off. So now you are just stressing yourself while your SO sits in astonishment and amusement. You have these feelings without ever being able to express them and get a detailed and honest story behind it because you snooped.
Your infected now so all goes out the door when this person speaks. And then all the mishaps that I had in relationship one occurs. Control should not be the foundation of any relationship. It just does too much damage. You should be able to be you and not be judged until a fair trial is made. Both parties should be able to clearly clarify and express their emotion. When it is one-sided it is never whole. It is about enjoying the time spent together and not worrying about the mistakes they have made in the past.
If they are now with you and the foundation is there all that should not be your relationship issue. If it is then I advise saving yourself the aggrevation and moving on. Communication is always key and when that is broken or hung up somewhere then peace and harmony will never be there. Sign up for our free newsletter and get a free chapter of our book,"He's Not That Complicated". The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by A New Mode, Inc.
Does he spend time with you as often as he used to? No, he never spends time with me. It's like I don't exist. He spends more time doing random things. Internet, friends, work, etc. Yes, he spends the same amount of time with me as he always has. Other Must-See Related Posts: How Do You Find Love? When a Guy Doesn't Text Back Is He The One? How To Know For Sure Leave Your Comment Now Enough Already Sorry, something messed up.. Haley I caught my boyfriend of 2 yrs secretly talking to his ex.
Black Cat Superb stuff, a very realistic and mature point of view, reading your comment really made me think and has put things into perspective. This is the best advice on this topic! Thank you very much! Maria You need to leave this guy. Laura Bell Wow this is really helpful. Gabe I have been seeing this guys and first two dates were amazing, there was instant connection and it felt like i could trust him.
Jezebel What do you do when even you bringing her name up to discuss the issue makes him defensive? Annaliz Dear Eric, I feel like an idiot. Angie Hi Eric, Thanks for the great article. Ann Hi Eric, thank you for this article, food for thought. Thank you very much for your time. Confused One Thank you Ann. Anonymous I disagree completely. Hazel Well my fella who has been divorced over 12 months now, says he wants to remain friends with his ex-wife.
Hazel Up date…Well I have had a terrible 2 months. Hazel Another up date…. Crystal This article helped me to stop and think of what i was actually putting myself into; i was creating madness. Tabak N My bf wanted an open relationship and recently told me he was going to resume having a romantic relationship with his ex wife. J I have a similar situation.
Sommer So who thinks all bets are off when they secretly talk to their ex… Repeatedly? Kim If your a guy Ben that has been the best thing I have ever heard. Makes so much sense. Joann I have a bit of a similar type of situation. Nicole This is an old article but I wanted to hedge my bets on receiving a response. Thanks for reading and Happy Thanksgiving: Gollymolly First, I do believe you brought up an interesting point about getting insecurities handled on your own. Hiya Thanks for this article. Rebecca I just wanted to say that I really appreciate this article and all of your articles , and speaking from experience, Eric is absolutely right.
Hanna Sijabat Hii there, I have similar problem in my relationship. Torben Thanks for that article. Torben Learn how to write properly! Rachel Would anyone feel differently if the ex was a friend with benefits.. Torben That is a very good question. Samantha Hi Eric, I unwittingly came in-between two people who were almost about to get back together. Gigi Who ever your are, Thank you so much for this post. I was going crazy. Ali It seems the boyfriend is training his ex that her behaviors are acceptable to him. Arial If your boyfriend is still talking to his recent ex on a regular basis, especially if he was close enough to her to loan her money, then your gut instincts could very well be correct.
Marguerite I was seeking self healing on the internet about how to deal with my new love and his insecure and manipulative ex-girlfriend who still contacts him and I happened to stumble upon this article. Eric Charles Thanks, I appreciate that. Jacquie I agree with Marguerite. Amanda Now what if said ex was an ex-fiance that still texts all the time and calls him pet names like babe. Kate I second Marguerite as well, over two years on. Jessica I agree with this too. Elizabeth Thank you for this, I needed it today! Peneolpe Can somebody just settle my mind I live with a male friend who I beleieved wanted to be with me but has just upped rooted his whole life to move away frm his as he keeps telling me girl friend of 10 years.
Kathy Im in a similar position right now. Heartbroke I just found a message that my boyfriend of 4 years sent to his ex-wife. I hope you have the strength to do it. Fatima Hussain Hey here is this guy who just asked me out on 14th saying it as a friends date even said to think about a place where we two of us can go. Eric Charles Cool — glad to hear it. Bubbles How would I go about asking him then? It matters what a man DOES. Bubbles I do not have a desire to change him, he said accept him for who he is.
Flower White He is playing you he traveled with a female for a month and did not tell you? You are just his arm candy and play toy. Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. He's seen many people—including himself—get seduced and hurt by love. Are you a little bothered because you just realized that your boyfriend still talks to his ex every once in a while? Does it make you feel insecure?
While it's natural to feel a little weird about it, the fact that he talks to his ex isn't automatically a bad thing. Before you burst into tears and start planning how you're going to dump him, here are a few things that you should do when your boyfriend is talking to his ex. Don't hide the fact that you're bothered or insecure.
This doesn't mean that you should blame your boyfriend for feelings of jealousy that you might have. This simply means that you should acknowledge them. Communicate your fears to your boyfriend.
5 Important Things to Do When Your Boyfriend Contacts His Ex
If he doesn't seem to care or acts really defensive about it, then maybe you should press him for more details. Some people can genuinely be "just friends" with their exes. Maybe they started dating, realized their feelings were mostly platonic, and decided to remain friends. This is the ideal situation if your boyfriend is still talking to his ex: There's little to be jealous about if their relationship was short-lived and not very fiery.
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Even better, if your boyfriend's ex turned out to be gay or straight, if you're gay and that's why their relationship ended, then there's not as much of a chance that something inappropriate is happening between them. Granted, it could still happen. On the other hand, there's more reason to be suspicious if there's no conceivable reason that they're still talking. For example, let's say that your boyfriend and his ex had a purely physical relationship and went through an explosive breakup. Furthermore, they were never very good friends in the first place.
Why would they still be talking?
What to Do When Your Boyfriend Still Talks to His Ex
Did they break up like a million years ago, before you even met each other? In that case, maybe the fire between them has cooled off enough that they can legitimately be friends without any drama. If it's only been a few weeks and your boyfriend is already talking to his ex, this might be something that you'll want to calmly address with him. Even if you find information that you don't like while probing your boyfriend about the situation, take some time to be by yourself and think about what's going on.
Before you react, reflect on what your rational response should be. Remember that if your reaction is based on insecurity you may do irreparable damage to your relationship. You might unwittingly send the message to your boyfriend that you don't trust him. How will he react to that?
Is he really doing anything wrong? Think carefully about what you've learned and the best way to proceed. Obviously, if you've discovered that your boyfriend is sending naked pictures to his ex or something like that, there's less to think about. In unambiguous situations like those, you might just want to kick the guy to the curb. If his ex really is just a friend, your boyfriend should have no problem introducing you. Sure, it's normal for him to perhaps feel a bit awkward bringing a current and past flame together, but it should be doable.
However, if he is still seeing his ex in secret, he'll probably feel too guilty to introduce you or allow you to hang out together. He'll probably be nervous that you'll discover his two-timing ways. If you do meet his ex, pay attention to how she or he acts. Does she seem nervous around you? Does she give you smug looks? Is she really touchy-feely with your boyfriend? If so, then you might have a problem. Even if there's nothing between them, she may be trying to rekindle something. After meeting his ex, if you can tell that she definitely still carries a torch for him, advise your boyfriend of this.
If you're uncomfortable with the idea of his talking to someone who clearly still wants him, don't be afraid to let him know. At the end of the day, you can't prohibit anyone from doing something. There really are two possible situations here:. Either way, he is the one who ultimately has control over this. The only thing y ou can control is whether you tolerate it or not. If you try to forbid him from talking to his ex, whether it is justified or you are just acting out of insecurity, you are fighting a losing battle.
What's the point of a relationship if you can't trust your partner to make the right decision on their own, after all? Did your boyfriend actively keep the fact that he was contacting his ex a secret from you? Did he lie when you asked him about it, but then you found out later that they were still talking? He was looking to cheat. There's no reason for someone to keep that kind of thing a secret unless they're planning to do something they're not "supposed" to do. Sure, maybe he was just afraid that you would be mad or something, but that still begs the question of why he would rather avoid your anger than be honest with you.
This points to some messed up priorities. Trust is a foundational aspect of any successful relationship, and if you can't trust your own boyfriend, then maybe you're better off sending him back to his ex. If your boyfriend keeps getting texts from his ex, take note of his reaction. Does he complain about his ex trying to stay in touch with him? Or does he excuse himself and go somewhere else to respond? The only way to know whether the communication between your boyfriend and his ex is the beginning of them getting back together is to watch and listen.
Ask him why his ex is getting in touch. Then see what he says. Just because his ex is texting doesn't mean your boyfriend is still interested in them. What, is your boyfriend five years old? Are you his mother? Is it your job to "forbid" him from doing this or that? If he continues to do something, knowing full well that you don't like it, then you can either live with it or break up with him.
You cannot control another person. Then hell yes, he should be mad. You don't have the right to block other people on someone else's phone, no matter who it is. You either trust your boyfriend, or you don't, but your boyfriend is I assume a grown man, not your child. He is not your property, and you are not the judge of who he should associate with. That's up to him. If you don't like that he talks to his ex, and he refuses to stop by his own choice, then you can break up with him.
I caught my bf's ex texting him for sex. He said nothing happened, and left it there. Do you think that because he didn't justify himself enough, it means that they are still sleeping together? If he was telling the truth, why would he need to justify? Usually, it's liars who over-explain stuff. Having said that, they could still be sleeping together, sure. There's no way to know. You either trust his word or you don't. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. If they are just catching up, they could be friends.
If she's trying to "catch" something else, then you might have a problem. Depends, is that the kind of relationship that you want? One where you're waiting to be traded in for someone your boyfriend likes more? If that's the case, then be my guest. I don't know your life, so I have no idea. Maybe she is still friends with him and just wants to talk to him. Maybe she's trying to seduce him. It could be any reason, really. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.
My boyfriends ex's hit him up all the time he finally had me text one in a nice way to ask why she still text. The other one is Canada and secretly messaged him on messenger saying sorry that she is reaching out but she thinks about him everyday and misses him. He responded with don't ever apologize and that he thinks about her everyday as well and hope shes doing well. Then she responded again and he didn't respond. He just got back from vacation and I know I shouldn't have but I looked at his messenger and the last time they talked was Sun but he deleted all the messages.
I confronted him and told him I looked at his phone and he said she hit him up but he didn't respond and when I asked why he deleted the messages then he said cause he didn't want to deal with me and knew I would look at his phone. Am I overreacting in being upset.
COuld they just be friends? Is it weird that my boyfriend still talks about his ex to me? I don't know what to do. He told me that his ex texted him saying she needs help because shes having problems with her boyfriend, And i said why are you talking her , why do you even care about her,He also said to not worry because es dating me and she dating someone else.
That doesn't mean that nothing is gonna change because anything can change even if shes dating someone and hes dating me. Me and my boyfriend were together for 5years and recently this august 21 on my birthday my boyfriend talked on his ex on a vidcall. What should I do since day1 till now he still communicates with her ex. His doing everything for me he spend a lot and help me financially, but why is he still communicates with her ex? Does he really love me or not? Or is he just using me? I dont know what to do.
I loved him so much and I'm doing my best to make him happy. I just dont get it why is he still communicates with hix ex secretly. I give him chances twice before same girl same issue, then now Im being blinded again I give him chance for a 3rd time. I loved him so much and I want to let go on him but i have a reasons why I am staying first I loved him 2nd I need him financially because he is the one whos supporting me right now coz Im still a student.
And I dont have a relatives both sides that are willig to help me and my family. I started dating my boyfriend 10 and a half months ago, and in the beginning it was wonderful is very attentive caring loving wanted to give me the world. Although he got jealous when he went into my phone and saw old messages and guys who had dated before who were my friends that I was still talking to he got really upset and told me that I have to stop talking to him or seen them if I was going to be with him.
I agreed and I went ahead and deleted everybody and took them off that was on my phone. But then at another time he saw that all my Facebook friends and on messenger again he got mad and told me that there were some people that were not acceptable to for me to talk to or Facebook so I went ahead and took them off. Then he found out that I had dated my best friend son who is 25 and yes I Iwas He then got upset got mad said how can I be going and visiting my friend when he's there and he probably wants to get in my pants.
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Well my friend and I stopped being friends because she didn't trust him around her son. Then about four to five months into a relationship his ex-wife get comes into the picture and says that she wants to get back with him and start texting and calling him frequently. Shave and proceeded to get a DUI because she was so upset that when she went out she called him and got pulled over.
Well after that things got very uncomfortable between me and him because I found out that she was still texting him and he was not stopping it knowing that she still had feelings for him and wanted to rekindle the relationship. I know that they were married for 30 years and that's the excuse he gives me that she is his best friend or one of and that he can stop talking to her and that I'm a bad person for wanting to stop his conversations are knowing that that's the mother of his son and other children that are grown up and that she's the grandmother of his grandchildren to and that it is awful that I would want that.
He called me other names which I won't mention but I felt really bad about it because I felt like he was disrespecting our relationship by keeping in contact with her like that. Well as the time he found out there he would forbid me from going to those stores. Well in return I said okay I don't want you going to where she works and also please don't like her post on Facebook or keep posting things back and forth to each other because I knew how she feels about him.
First he did do some of it but I found out he was lying to me by still posting things and hiding it from me, then I found out he has bank account with her he says he has it because if in case his son needs anything but I have also seen him use it for other reasons. They also have credit card together, and she's still gets her mail at his house. I confronted him and asked him if she could change her address and if he could possibly not have things together with her like that because it makes me feel insecure and feel that he's not respecting our relationship.
He proceeded to call me a lot of things again and said that he's being a hypocrite. But then I said to him I did change those things that he was not comfortable with why was it hard for him to do the same and he said that I was asking too much because that's his ex-wife and a good friend of his and he's more comfortable talking to her than with me. On a few occasions he's made comments like I might move her in because it will help me pay for my mortgage or he would say something like why can't you be more like her. I at this point and so miserable because I love them very much but I am at a Crossroads as to what to do because I want to break up with him or give him an ultimatum but I know what's going to end up happening is I will probably lose in Forever.
He also brings up the fact that I have drank too much on a couple occasions and I think I was doing it to deal with what was going on. He then said to me the he didn't want me coming over as much because I had been disrespectful to him in front of my son by arguing with him. Can someone tell me in my email ridiculous about the demands that I'm asking in regards to his ex-wife or should I be leaving him?
I had always known that they were civil and got along from the start, but it recently turns out they are a bit closer then I thought. But still it kind of confuses me why they are so so close. Does anyone else feel this way? Makes me so sad most days. My bf talks to his ex, apparently every 2 weeks or so. I never did make any ultimatum to him but yesterday she texted him saying she was sad he didn't get her anything for her birthday which was the day before and when I asked him about it he admitted then that she called 2 weeks prior, and 2 weeks prior to that and so on and that when she calls she says I'm not good enough for him which I know already because he tells me daily anyhow and that he should dump me and so on and so forth.
He says its perfectly ok and it doesn't bother him that she spends a lot of time trashing me. I normally just suffer in silence when I hear from folks that USED to be my friends who say they don't want to talk to me because she said this or that. So when I found all this out, I felt it was just too disprespectful and asked him to have her stop reaching out to him. Then when I beg for what I think is just a little bit more respectful behavior he gets angry and tells me that I am a rotten person and that there is nothing good to me at all, and that she is better than me and he goes on tells me my parents hate me and are ashamed of me from heaven.
I am not rich and I have to drive an hour each way to see him every day. Occassionally he comes to see me now and help me with my house, but the vast majority of the time I am spending 4, 5, on gas and tolls to see him and so now his latest rage at me was because I can't save any money. I am not rich. But I managed to buy my own house with my own money and never took a dime from anyone to get it.